Grace’s birthday was simple and quiet. We had a family brunch and lots of talk and then cake. Grace wanted to play most of the afternoon, so this year, we decorated the tree for the birds after everyone but Aunt Abi had left, late in the day. I can’t believe Grace is 5; actually, I can’t believe Grace is only 5. She seems so much older. She’s such a smarty pants, so mischievous, so full of spirit. We love you, Gracie.
January was so cold, almost all of it. It was full of “polar votexes” and arctic blasts… There was lots of snow, too, but most memorably the cold.
We did our best to stay warm. Sophia and Grace started a homeschooling math class this month; it is a lot of fun and games. They continue ice skating, and now we attend a weekly Geography coop too.
We’ve kept busy, visiting the Eric Carle Museum and Old Sturbridge Village. And I finally saw the doctor up in Boston. He is a good doctor, he is the best in the region. But I had a full-on panic attack in the waiting room, and I am not ready to do the surgery yet. We will wait until March, the first day of Spring. Sometimes I think I am brave enough if only we could do it right this second. The rest of the time I wish March was months and months more away. I don’t know why this surgery scares me so badly…well no, scratch that, I do know why. Apparently I am a control freak, because it feels like I will be giving up the ultimate control.
What control, though? Now I finally know that I never had any at all.