So here’s the thing. I began co-sleeping the day I brought Sophia home from the hospital – I even tried making it work in the hospital, I was so jazzed about co-sleeping! While pregnant, I had read tons of attachment parenting literature, and was really convinced by studies and articles such as this one by Dr. Sears which gives innumerable reasons as to why co-sleeping is safe and wonderful, etc. My husband was not-so-much into the idea, and I will admit to a few half-hearted “attempts” to move the girls into their own room to appease the hubs, but that never went down for more than a few days and then we were all together again (of course!).
Then last month, a terrific sale at a mattress store made it impossible to not purchase a beautiful brand new queen mattress set, and my DREAM OF DREAMS came to pass…I was a co-sleeper with TWO mattress pushed together, giving the whole family TONS of room. Nevermind how ridiculous this may appear to the uninitiated, this really made me a happy mama (also made the hubs stop complaining)!
Ah. But then yesterday came.
My 4 year old informed me she was going to sleep in her room that night.
Now, if you know Sophia, you know this was huge. Sophia couldn’t be more “mommy’s girl.” Sophia has, through thick and thin, always insisted on being in bed with her mom, and the few times she’s been out of it, has LOUDLY protested (thank god!) and consistently illustrates my point that children will assert independence when they’re damn good and ready!
(So why she had to go asserting her damn independence now when things were going so great, I don’t know…grumble grumble…)
So, last night she climbed the stairs, asked for her polka-dot birthday quilt, clambered happily and contentedly into her own bed in her own room, snuggled up with her cup, listening to her music…and fell asleep. Just like that.
Meanwhile I woke up a million times last night waiting to hear my baby’s voice asking to come back to bed with me.
But she never did.
And this morning she informed me she’s sleeping in her own room forever.
So this is one of those moments in parenthood where there is a dichotomy of emotions. I’m thrilled that my girl has come to this place of independence on her own, that this is surely a sign of her growing up, and that we got to this place so peacefully, naturally, and of her own accord. But on the other hand, the realization which has been subtly creeping up on me is now staring down upon me – a baby she is no longer.
Next thing you know, she’ll be 16 and driving off to her first job. *sob*
Ok, a little dramatic, but you know what I mean.